I am embryonic fluid and darkness
dancin’ to the oldies. I am ham and eggs and sperm. I am fetus,
feel me kick. I am a Spielbergian blast of white light and a slap on
the bottom. I’m a breast full of milk and a mouth chugging on a
nipple like it was a can of Carnation. I’m a diaper sloshing with
smelly secrets.
I’m a sparkling smile in my father’s
eyes and a weary grin on my mother’s lips. I’m a puppy licking
your face. I’m a cat scratch and a million meows. I’m a bump
from a bang on the back hanging over your father’s shoulder. I am
the Cat in the Hat. I am Sam, I am.
I’m a training bra and an athletic
supporter. I’m school, summer vacations and swimming. I’m
puberty, pimples and piano lessons. I’m a girl’s giggle and a
boy’s bashfulness on a first date. I’m the power of love and the
friction of sex. I’m X-rated. I’m out of gas on a dark country
road with a girl who is not amused and who has some big brothers
who’ll want to talk to me later. I’m straight as an arrow. I’m
gay as a blade.
I’m the prayer in the dark that seems
to cure cancer. I’m a nun kneeling, a preacher praying and a
sinner straying. I’m a Buddhist, a Muslim and a Methodist. I’m
black, white, red and yellow with Kodacolor chromosomes. I’m the
universal soldier dying for the sins of his leaders. And I’m the
innocent caught dead in the middle.
I’m Christmas, Easter and the Year of
the Dog. I’m Passover and Palm Sunday. I’m a family holiday
sitting all alone in front of festive old movies on TV and becoming
more suicidal by the minute. I’m a family holiday with all your
relatives fighting the same fights since childhood, getting a knot in
your stomach, big as a beer pretzel, and becoming more suicidal by
the minute. I am hope and hype, delight and despair all sitting in
your favorite chair.
