JULY FOURTH BEER AND BANGS

ANNCR: Celebrate the constitution, the Declaration of Independence and 1776 by honoring the founding fathers this Fourth of July the traditional old fashioned American way with fireworks and beer at a family picnic.
Slap your weenies down on the grill, grab your buns and a beer then light up a cherry bomb or an M-80, throw it and watch the in-laws scramble.
Give them a silver salute and fire up your flaming balls while knocking back some beers for a more excitable 4th for all. Bottle rockets and bottles of beer go together like George and Washington.
Get boomed and go boom at the same time! Who needs all ten fingers? Blow one off and you still got 9 left! Be patriotic (Sings) “Oh, say can you see.” Well, maybe not if you’re blinded easily by sparklers in your face.
Happy (Belch Burp) Fourth.
SFX: BOOM! BANG!! BOOM! (Screams) Ayeeeee!!!