Apparently, Trump U was a university
like General Mills was a military commander, and not a maker of
breakfast cereals. Trump University- where you go to learn how to get
fleeced. Some Trump University
business advice. To clean up, become a maid. To get a head, buy
lettuce And if you want credit for something, use your Visa card.
Donald Trump has
the Mt. Everest of egos where's he's a winner and everyone else is a loser, but if you grovel at his feet and call him Mr. Wonderful, you could graduate to become a winner.
What a cast of
characters for President! There's the thin skinned bully Donald
Trump who attacks everyone but Tweets like a flock of vultures when
attacked back, there's Hillary Clinton who couldn't tell the truth
about her private server e-mails if she were water boarded 24/7 and
74 year-old Bernie Sanders who lacks basic math skills and can't
count up to 2,383 when it comes to delegates, but wants to count
and be relevant. Table for a party of 100,000, please for Sanders.
If Hormel could make bacon from humans,
we'd be an endangered species. Our overwhelming love of bacon would
doom us to extinction, one way or another.
If crankiness and men with that old car
smell were considered sexy, then I'd be the new Brad Pitt.
The way things are going, the world
will not end with a bang or a whimper, but with a Tweet.
With Hillary and Donald Trump being
more unpopular than lice, if they were still in grade school running
for class president, they would have both been beaten to death at
recess by the school band.
When asked a question I'd put on my
thinking cap, but my wife threw it out with my old Playboys.
There's nothing worse than a powerful
dumb guy who's arrogant about his stupidity.
Twitter is like viral vomit for people
with half a thought who just have to share it with the world.
When I hear the command “Fire at
Will!” in a movie, I always feel sorry for poor old Will.
Donald Trump is like a blender with the
top off. Recycled from a Jerry Seinfeld joke about two-year old's.
I was born too soon. We live in an age
where it's cool for grown up adults to read comic books, play games
all day and live with their parents and never empty the nest. In
my day, that was called childhood.
I just saw a Burger King sign featuring
the Angriest Whopper on its menu which, I'm guessing, is a steer
furious over being killed just so we can have a fast food burger
with fries.
I've put on a few pounds since last
summer, so I have to buy an industrial strength super sized Speedo
for the beach.
Donald Trump is
like the monster Id in the 1956 Syfy movie “Forbidden Planet”
that breaks through the force field of civilization to destroy the
planet's settlement that ends up being their own “evil self”.
Trump is our evil self that lowers the lowest common denominator.
Poor Donald Trump says he gonna be more
presidential, but he keeps driving his big train off the tracks.
That's because he doesn't have the temperament to be a crossing
guard, let alone President of the United States.
CONDENSATION OR DEVASTATION?
The morning dew wet
my lips like a
kiss from God.
And it was bitter,
like a Guinness
or the day my
grandson Jack
was shot to death.
WORKING WHILE WE SLEPT
The eager moon set sail,
to slip between the clouds
in a ball pocked and pale,
glowing under a star shroud.
Making its nocturnal run,
till it bumped into the sun.
I'm slipping into the sleeve of sleep
now and pulling up the covers of the night till nature calls off the
hook in about 90 minutes
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